Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The first big step . . .

Sent our first packet to our adoption agency, FAC, along with our first round of fees. We are supposed to get our official referral soon . . . can't wait to get the information on our son.

Right now, we really don't know anything - we're not even sure of his birthdate. It's so difficult to not know if he's still in the orphanage, or if he has been moved to foster care. I hope someone is holding him and loving him well. Is he crying? Is he hungry? Does he have a dirty diaper? Does he need to be held? Is he sleeping? These are the questions that constantly run through my mind. My arms suddenly feel so empty.

The shock has now worn off, but it still seems very surreal that we're going to have a baby in the house soon. I've done a little nesting, but I can't seem to tackle working on his room. I think maybe that, if I do, it will make it even harder that he's not here, in his room. I'm sure the need to make a special place for him will come in time, I'm just not there yet. It still seems like a distant dream . . .

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